I am completely rude and disrespectful. I realize this and I make futile attempts to change this about myself. Honestly, I don’t think I want to change. I’m thirty years old and I’m already tired of the ignorance of others. How in the world do older people do it? How do people live so long without ramming a fork through a person’s eye at least one time in their life? How do people maintain control for so long?
I am not a genius; I have the average persons average intelligence. I like to think of myself as a realist when it comes to real issues. I think of myself as a watered down cynic. I also call myself an optimistic pessimist. It’s an oxymoron but leave it to me to find the bright side of every negative I’ve just pointed out. I know the bad will happen; I know that I am the reason that whole:
what can go wrong
will go wrong
philosophy exists. I am Irish, after all. If I didn’t have bad luck, I’d have no luck at all. Because of these things that I believe about myself, I’m not arrogant enough to think that I’m above anybody. I can’t say I’m the best at critical thinking because there are too many times a day where I say:
Oh yeah; I never would have thought of it that way
I’m not afraid to admit when I am wrong and I am not afraid to listen to someone else’s opinion; that is to say, if they have taken the time to consider at least one opposing angle of their so-called formulated opinion.
Soooo….My mother-in-law came to baby sit the boys while my husband and I went to an appointment. My MIL and I don’t have a very warm relationship. She’s rigid and very conservative. She’s old-school Alabama southern and I’m a regular person from New England living in Texas. She keeps her opinions to herself but judges with her eyes, her sighs, her movements and inflections. She thinks, and Kasper thinks, that she is very respectful this way. I think, and my family thinks, that she is very closed-minded and intolerant. But she is my MIL and because I love her son I am as respectful as I can be even when I just want to take my cane and jam its foot between her toes in those dirty made-in-China Jesus sandals she’s always wearing.
She has been there for me and my family countless times so I do acknowledge how disrespectful it is of me to speak of her this way but I have to vent somewhere before I really do explode on her one day.
MIl happened to come over right in the middle of Obama’s speech on the economy on Wednesday. He was talking about ACA when she found herself seated comfortably with all her many devices ready for her to fill her time with. For an older lady, she is quite technologically advanced. I have been looking up ACA extensively since this last election. I can only understand so much but I understood right away that the success of ACA hinged on this last election. If Obama lost his campaign then ACA would be repealed. I felt I needed to understand as much of it as I could before I would ever vote for him to make sure that this alone was worthy of my vote. I honestly didn’t care much for Obama his first term. I felt my opinion wouldn’t matter because a black man was running for president; in my eyes that meant he would win no matter what. He was going to make history and he did so I didn’t care to make an opinion or pay attention. But this election, I started looking into this whole scary Obamacare thing and the more I read, the further I dug, the more I wondered why anyone would seek its destruction.
It would hit me months after the election that it is true what they say, there is a campaign to misinform Americans on this law. I read articles, I’m sure people would say they are examples of Liberal bias and Liberal media and I would agree. However, I am not a Liberal. I read these articles because they allow the reader to distinguish fact from opinion. I don’t appreciate reading something represented as news or an informative column/article that is legitimate and factual in all its claims only to discover all the information can only be linked back to one source given information “anonymously” and can’t be confirmed outside of that link. I don’t form my opinion on any political topic because I read one article either. I’m not an activist and I don’t think of myself as someone who knows more about what she’s talking about than anyone else but….I do a little homework before I open my mouth.
So there I was, sitting at the computer desk checking the bank account before we left so I could know what size package of diapers we could afford to pick up on the way home. As I was logging in, I paused to listen to Obama. I leaned back in my chair with my eyes on the TV just as he made the statement that the cost of healthcare is growing at its slowest rate in fifty years. I smiled, proud to know that my constantly Googling fingers knew this information to be reported by multiple sources as true. Then I hear a little snort behind me followed by, “Yeah, what world is he living in?”
Now, I do my very best to keep my mouth shut when people I ought not to argue with make a claim I know they are too close minded to research for themselves. But this time, because I had invested so much time in looking into this and understanding as much as my poor injured brain will allow of me, I felt offended by her exclamation as though it were a personal attack when it was no such thing. I like to blame my lack of brain-mouth filter on my stroke but in all honesty I don’t think I ever really had one or never fully formed one. It’s always been a struggle for me to keep my mouth zipped but it is more difficult now than ever.
After my MIL placed her opinion in so few words into the air between us, my quickly formed opinion of her opinion met it for battle. My mouth spat, “The real world where the cost of healthcare is truly rising at a slowed pace.” That actually reads a lot nicer than I sounded. I felt guilty but I did not apologize. I felt bitter and didn’t try to take it back. I just cannot stand people who refuse to inform themselves. I have tested this conversation with her to gauge what she understands, what she’s willing to find out and what she is willing to debate. But…all the claims of “They are just so brainwashed by the ideologies of their party they don’t know how to think for themselves” is all true and I have my MIL to thank for that enlightened view on the constituents of the GOP. It’s not polite to surmise that all conservatives think this way because I know one [LOL] but my MIL isn’t exactly a dumb woman. Or, maybe I am in some sort of denial and refuse to think that a retired woman working part-time in a public school, married to a retired disabled vet, both with a few pre-existing conditions, that own multiple properties and receiving social security wouldn’t be willing to listen to something other than what is said on Fox News. And I hate to blanket my in-laws with all those other conservatives by saying they are nothing but Fox sheep but….*lowers voice shamefully* they openly admit to watching Fox News when they are not watching Tru Tv. They are you’re stereotypical Conservative and that saddens me.
I just had to get this out. I can’t very well vent about this to Kasper. He would allow me to but one of the first things he will say in our next argument will be about how I never did like his mother and he will use all of this against me.