Life after a stroke is not easy. How ‘not easy’ is it, Kt? They changed the Clearasil label, I don’t know when they did it but I’ve been using Clean & Clear because I couldn’t find ‘my’ face soap. My entire face is broken out and it totally blows because I’m 30 years old and I should be passed this puberty face. I’ve checked 2 times and the familiar label that is always in its spot was not there! Anxiety kicks in. I panic then get angry. Frustration is still hard for me to control. Frustration makes me impatient; impatience makes me restless; restlessness makes irritable; heightened level of irritability makes me want to throat punch the nearest person. It’s just annoying to be confused by these small things. I should be able to go into a store expecting to find my soap on its usual shelf with its boring label and pick it up and go on my merry way. Not finding what I expect should be no big deal, I should be able to cope, solve the ‘dilemma’ and go on my merry way. What’s worse is the new label is brighter and more noticeable. How did I miss it TWO TIMES? My husband knew how upset I was because of this. You would think my whole world crashing down around me was due to…I don’t know, something more meaningful than my ‘missing’ face cleanser. But no, that’s all it was. I was seriously distraught. My husband went to the store a few days after my last check in the personal care aisle. So loving and caring, he decided to check if they had restocked the shelves since my last visit. No, they hadn’t. He said there was less on the shelf but he searched anyway.
Lo’ and behold he comes home with my soap. Naturally, I take one look at the label and I am upset. It’s wrong, the label is wrong; it’s wrong, it’s all wrong.
“No, no it’s not; look, it says sensitive skin right there. They just changed the label but the soap is the same.”
Sure enough he was right. I had looked at the damn thing both times in the store but it wasn’t familiar, I ignored it. I was confused by it, I walked away from it with a brand in my cart that I knew would make me break out simply because it was the same price. I no longer have the patience to stand there and read the different labels whether they look the same or not. I see all these different words and colors and it’s all blurred together and my head spins. I don’t know what I am doing, it’s like I suddenly forget how to be an adult. My eyes feel wonky and things no longer make sense. Kasper always says the same, “We’ll come back to this later,” and sometimes that works. We’ll get whatever else we need then come back and get what I had to leave behind. But this damn soap, it wanted to be tricky and be different and ‘new and improved’ and trick Kt into thinking she had lost her mind because things were no longer the same.
Life after a stroke is not easy. How ‘not easy’ is it, Kt? So not easy I got some of the worst zits I’ve had since the eighth grade!!!!