About Last Night

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Dude…my mind is still blown from last night!  Not only did Texas Democrats lose so hard but Congressional Dems also…not so great.  I’m trying my best not to be upset, not to go to FB and just vent and rant for a couple of hours, but I have a rant in me struggling to get out.  I don’t even want to post it here but maybe if I let a little of it out I can get through the rest of the day.

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   Texas…what are you guys thinking?  There are a lot of reasons I didn’t vote for Abbott or any other Republican (except I voted for a Republican for our mayor) and yeah some are selfish but even the most selfish reasons still serve the greater good of Texans/Americans in general.  I’m a disabled mother living in poverty.  That right there pretty much outlines roughly ten reasons I couldn’t, in all good conscience, vote red.  I care about my children’s futures much too much.  They need a good education and I can barely afford pull-ups for my youngest boy, how would I be able to pay for a general education for two kids? I want my kids to grow up in a safe environment and that means with clean water, air and even dirt.  I would like my children to be able to make choices in life and follow through on those choices without limitations that are not same for everyone.
Kasper started his job today.  It’s training today and tomorrow.  He starts at above minimum wage, around $9, but that’s because he not only has experience working a station in a restaurant kitchen but he has also worked at this same restaurant before.  It’s simply under better management now. I’m so freaked out about losing Medicaid for myself and my boys because he has this job.  Skas, we could probably afford insurance through CHIP or something but JJ and me?  Even Kasper?  I doubt it.  It would put us in debt.  Kasper has county care which he will probably lose after he starts really getting into the flow of having a job even if it is only part-time.  He is on 3 different medicines for anxiety, hypertension and chronic headaches.  That’s really expensive without any type of insurance.
JJ’s therapies, the cost of his neuro, cardiologist and brace would be too much without Medicaid and even with CHIP. And me, all of my crap alone would kill us financially.  I was really hoping Wendy Davis would win so the state could start pushing to expand Medicaid under the ACA and that way my husband and kids would qualify for Medicaid until he made enough to get subsidized insurance through the exchange.  That hope is lost.  And with this extreme Republican leadership in Texas, I imagine requested rate hikes from insurance companies would get approved left and right so even with subsidies, we probably still couldn’t afford it, who knows. I’m sure over the next two years we have more than just a handful of more ACA repeal attempts to look forward to as well. Can’t wait for that *eye roll*
My rights as a woman are going to disintegrate. At this point, I’m really hoping that I am brainwashed by liberal media and fear mongering…or something! I don’t even watch mainstream media and I get my news from a variety of sources so my opinions are formed from points taken at multiple angles.  I may have liberal opinions but they haven’t been developed by reading headlines only or loosely following politics.  I actually try to stay away from strictly partisan sources unless I’m actively looking for insight or maybe I’m not comfortable with how I see a particular topic or story. For example, I read this Addicting Info article just to make myself feel better.  There’s logic to the article though I know it’s a hyper-liberal source so many will not even look twice at it. It doesn’t matter, I wouldn’t cite this as fact, only opinion. I may go in search of a better understanding if I’m confused as to why someone would take a strong stand against or for something like student loan debt, for instance.
I’m so confused by voters.  People are saying this election wasn’t that important and I’m just like whaa–? How could you say that? Have you not been paying attention? Why don’t people want fair elections? Equality? Rights to their own bodies?  Insurance that offers actual coverage? Clean water and air?  Protected nature zones (blanked out on describing that one haha)? The right to be unhappily married? The right to stand beside your lover on their deathbed regardless of sex? Equal pay for equal work? An actual livable starting pay? Minimum wage isn’t just crappy jobs, it’s also entry-level; people seem to forget that once they’re off their typically mandatory three-month probationary period at pretty much any new job. Right to your own religion, the belief that there is no point to religion? Solid infrastructure, jobs, stable economy? A government ready to move forward rather than one fighting to move back? And so much more?! I don’t disagree with all Republicans; I agree with fiscal conservatism, I agree with bringing together a sense of isolationism – I mean, why are we helping Israel pay to bomb Gaza if we are just going to turn around and give money to Gaza to rebuild? It makes no sense! But I also believe in Plautus’ belief:

You must spend money to make money

   It takes investing in the country as a whole; its people, its ground and everything in between to help build a healthy economy.  Cutting people off, leaving them to “fend for themselves” in a modernized society only creates a hungry and struggling people unwilling to work and “help” the higher-ups as well as “help themselves.”  It’s just ridiculous to think eliminating social assistance programs or cutting funding as much as possible would help people.  It does nothing but make the struggle that much more difficult to handle.  It’s really hard to want to find the light when people extend the tunnel you’re stuck in with every other step you take.  And imagine you’re in one of those tunnels with whispers reverberating off the walls! Voices repeating to you over and over that it’s just not worth it, you’re not worth it.  People like you never make it out.
My mom felt stuck throughout my entire childhood.  She tried to hide it from us but it was still there.  It was still noticeable whether it was because everyone in school had the newest style shoe on the first day of school and I had the most affordable from the “poor people’s store” (this was before Wal-Mart was in my hometown) or whether it was because my mom shrugged off my wondering if the SAT was worth the cost or not.  She knew “people like us” couldn’t afford college because “people like us” weren’t smart enough to receive any kind of scholarship.  Tenth grade was when I officially gave up having any type of dreams.  Now, imagine I’m not white, imagine I’m actually really super poor.  Can you imagine how much longer that tunnel must be?  How much louder the whispers must be?  I don’t want to imagine because I’m currently in that tunnel yet again.  I hope they don’t cut social security or disability too much.  I hope they don’t cut SNAP funding too much more and I hope housing isn’t put on the chopping block any time soon.  I’m willing to do the work I can to get off these programs but forcing me and people like myself off and out before we are ready is only going to create a worse and more bitter situation for a lot of people.

Here’s to hoping that Addicting Info article is more correct in its opinion than my worry is in existing.

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